Snow White Story, Las Noches Style
by LolyGothica
Summary: Crack fic! Basically Snow White tale with some twists.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all! Well, this is my first attempt for Bleach fic. So please be nice. Basically this is a Snow White tale with some weird twist. I think it would be two chapters. Hope you like it.

And before I forget, "I don't own Bleach and never make any money by this fic."

**Snow White Story, Las Noches Style**

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful and peaceful land. Wonderful because when you see the land, you would only gape and stare to the endless emptiness of the land, and peaceful because the folk smart enough than to make commotion just for their heads cutting off. The land was ruled by a king, a kind hearted (mysterious for exactly) and twist minded king. He was Aizen Sousuke. And then, here we were, we had a Snow White in this tale, and HIS name was Ulquiorra.

And then, one day the king's consort, Kaname Tousen, died mysteriously. The king then frustrated by the lack of love (sex) in his life. Hence, he decided to find another consort for him, and to become his queen. There was just one person could handle and bear the King's life style, HE was Ichimaru Gin.

They married and life together happily and full of love and happiness all the time. All folk in that land, inside and outside the palace were grateful. Despite the creep and fear for the King's consort of course.

Unfortunately, Gin and Ulquiorra didn't get along well. Ulquiorra always… well, being himself by ignoring Gin's talks and Gin always managed to push the younger to talk to him, which was getting on Ulquiorra's nerve sometimes.

"Ow… Don't be so mean ta me, Ulquiorra-chan." Gin whined with a pouty face. "Why da ya so hate me?"

"I don't hate you." Ulquiorra stated, with his usual emotionless manner.

Gin pouted again, he tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robe. "Ya always ignore meh." Gin pointed out.

"That 's because everything you say is trash, Gin."

Gin faked a hurt face. "Ow, that hurt! Wondering what will Aizen-sama say if he heard ya."

"I don't care."

"Really? Hmm… I have to find a way to make you speak to me, and we can have a nice chat!" Gin beamed.

Ulquiorra stared uninterested to him.

Gin pouted. "Ow, come one! Hmm, how about…" He took his zanpakutou out of nowhere. "Ikkorose, Shinsou."

Ulquiorra's eyes widened before he jumping to his right and succeeded avoiding Gin's attack. "What was that for?"

Gin grinned as he sheated his zanpakutou back. "I just want to get your excitement."

Ulquiorra straightened his posture. "You call that excitement?"

Gin sighed. "I just want to get along with ya." Gin whined and frowned.

"I do not get along with trash."

Ichimaru tilted his head as he opened his eyes. "Nani?"

"I do not get along with trash, Gin." Ulquiorra glared a bit.

An idea popped in Gin's mind. "Then, why don't you just cero me?"

Ulquiorra raised one of his eyebrows. "If you want to…" Ulquiorra said before raised his hand and pointed his index finger to Gin. A green light came out and just in a blink of eye a flash of green cero blasted right to Gin's direction.

Gin smirked as someone came out of nowhere in front of him and effortlessly slapped the green cero. The man who had slapped the cero then stared calmly and demandingly to Ulquiorra.

"What was that, Ulquiorra." The brown haired man asked.

"That was a cero, my cero, Aizen-sama."

Gin had to hold his chuckled by the blunt answer.

Aizen closed his eyes for some seconds before opening them again. "What was that for, Ulquiorra?"

"Ichimaru-sama told me to cero him."

Aizen frowned slightly before turning to Gin, demanding an answer.

"I just said 'if you want to cero me'." Gin said with a fake hurt face. "I don't think Ulquiorra-chan would do that for real. I don't think he hates me that much."

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes to Gin. _"What is he up to now?"_ he asked in his mind.

"Ulquiorra, that was too much. And now, please leave this palace this instant."

"What? Beg your pardon, Aizen-sama."

"Leave this palace, this Las Noches."

Ulquiorra stared emotionlessly to Aizen for a moment before turning around and walked by. When he wanted to close the door, he could see Gin grinned like a mad and gestured 'bye bye' to him.

"_I see, that man. From the beginning he just wants to keep this place for himself and Aizen-sama alone."_ Ulquiorra mused before closing the door completely.

(And Then)

And now, here he was, in the centre of nowhere. How he supposed to life then? Ulquiorra just wandered through Hueco Mundo. Some folk he happened to be passing by stared at him with unbelievable expression over their faces (masks). Ulquiorra just needed to stare emotionlessly which translated as 'fuck off' for them to make them cowered and never see him in the eyes again.

Just about an hour after, he saw a strange person. Yup! Strange, who wants to dye his hair into that pink color? Well, maybe a queer would. The man wore a red hooded cape and glasses. Wait, what that thing he dragged anyway? A wolf hollow? And moreover, Ulquiorra had some feeling about this man. Wasn't he the guy from the Little Red Riding Hood tale? What the hell was he doing in this Snow White tale?

"You…" Ulquiorra trailed as the man neared him.

The pink haired, and red hooded caped man tilted his head. "What are you doing here? You are the Snow White, aren't you?" The man asked.

"And you are the red hood." Ulquiorra uttered.

The pink haired man smirked. "I see, so you finally have reached the time when you kicked out from that palace, huh?" The man said as he pointed to Las Noches direction.

"Yes."

"Well Snowy-chan, my name is Szayel."

Ulquiorra twitched by the nickname he got. "Ulquiorra." He stated bitterly before took his attention to the wolf that Szayel dragged away. "That wolf?"

"Oh, yeah…" Szayel sniggered. "I found this wolf in my gramp house and it seems has eaten my precious Barragan-jii." Szayel made a sad face. "So, I took it away from there to my lab. Hopefully it will have something useful for my experiment." He smirked.

Ulquiorra just stared to him _"Apparently, you have no concern for your grandfather."_ Ulquiorra stated in his mind.

Then, they had a little chat (bickering) before parted away. Once again Ulquiorra just wandered aimlessly until he found a nice house. Not too large, but it seemed nice to stay at. He decided to stay at that house, no matter if the house had been occupied.

He opened the creamy colored door before stepped in gracefully. Seven pairs of eyes were settled to him in instant. Ulquiorra met their eyes. The occupants of the house were seven dwarf hollows. They were staring at him with wide eyes and gaped mouths.

The hollows had already known that someday they would have a new companion. A princess who should be beautiful and has some charming and calming aura surround her. But the person in front of them was, so much different to their expectation. The Snow White in front of them was, undeniable adorable, and deathly.

"What are you looking at, trash?" Ulquiorra asked in annoyance, though there was no trace of such emotion in his voice.

The hollows blinked. One of them, a brave one we consider, bolted up to him. "How could such a rude man come from nowhere and then call us trash? You are the one trash, brat!"

Well, he had a gut.

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes. "Do you know who I am?" He asked with threatening voice.

"Yes! You are the Snow White, aren't you?"

"Right, but one thing you failed to know," Ulquiorra stated before pointing his index finger to the hollow forehead. "I'm an espada." Then a cero formed before blasting right to the hollow's head. It left no remant of the hollow appearance besides the sheer reiatsu of the hollow.

The other hollows where bug-eyed to Ulquiorra who didn't seem to give a damn for the newly dead hollow. The (deathly) Snow white then raised his hand again before pointing his index finger to the hollows' direction.

"I don't want a single trash to bother my life here." He stated before blasting a green cero to the hollows.

0----------------------------0

Yup, finish for this time, **Thanks for reading**. Review will boost my mood and happiness and spirit for writing. Hee hee… So, Review?

…MintCa…


	2. Chapter 2

Yup! Here is the update. I'm sorry for taking too long for updating this fic. Honestly I didn't want to continuing this fic, but some of my reviewers encouraged me to do so in their reviews. So, I was feeling cruel if didn't do that. So here we go, the update.

Don't expect too much from me.

The disclaimer, "I don't own Bleach and never make any money by this fic."

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Oh, yeah! Here we go, the needle I need!" Nnoitra said happily as he eyed the little needle between his skinny fingers. He eyed it with some bloodthirsty and malice glint.

"Hey there!" Someone behind him called. He turned around sharply.

"What?!" He snapped as he looked a red hooded and pink haired man.

"You…" The man trailed as he looked to the needle. "From the sleeping beauty!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, what's your problem, red hood?" He asked irritably since his great moment was ruined by this mere presence of his.

The pink haired man smirked. "I just want to ask your assistance to become my test subject."

Nnoitra growled dangerously.

"Well, actually your needle has taken my interest." Szayel said. "If you don't mind, could you give me that needle?" he asked bluntly.

"Like hell I will give you this!" Nnoitra snarled.

Szayel frowned. "Ow, come on." He approached the man.

Then there they were, struggling to get a hold of the little needle. Needless to said, the needle then fell off from Nnoitra's fingers. It fell onto the forest floor, which covered with grasses.

Nnoitra's eyebrow twitched. "You." He said coldly as he glared to Szayel.

Szayel tried to stay calm by adjusting his glasses. "Well, it's not a big deal because I'll help you looking for it."

"You better do it."

And then, they were looking for the little needle.

"Shit! I have to find it soon. I really want to see that fucking princess sleep hopelessly." Nnoitra said.

"It's okay, it will only take about minutes." Szayel said confidently.

(5 hours later)

"Oh man, this is really a pain in the ass!" Nnoitra yelled frustratingly.

"Agree." Szayel said as he tucked her pink strand to the back of his ear.

"This is your fault dammit!" Nnoitra yelled again as he roughly pulled some grass. "That was my only cursed needle!"

And then, from the shadow came out a figure. Actually just walked by before Szayel chirped happily "Ulquiorra!!"

Ulquiorra, still with his stoic face turned to him and just staring to him.

"Hey, who is that emo?" Nnoitra asked in whisper to Szayel.

"I'm not emo." Ulquiorra stated with emotionless tone.

"He is the Snow White! What kind of fellow tale character you are that you don't recognize the others?!" Szayel lectured.

"Shut the fuck up." Nnoitra hissed.

Just as Ulquiorra walked by, Szayel approached him. "Ulquiorra, may I have your help? We've been looking for a damn little needle for these past five hours and we still can't find it. Would you like to help us?"

Ulquiorra eyed him expressionlessly. Well, since he had nothing better to do to kill the time, he nodded lightly. Szayel sneered and Nnoitra still eyed him warily.

"Is he a good or bad guy?" Nnoitra asked. "He supposedly to be good guy, right? But... He just looks like a damn assassin." he whispered to Szayel.

"Well, I heard he has killed the dwarves he supposed to be partners with." Szayel said with thoughtful face. "So basically, he is a quite badass."

Ulquiorra still searching for the needle that Nnoitra need so much. Szayel and Nnoitra argued over and over again about every tiny thing. He just shrugged them off because they were not beyond his limit yet. If they had, he just needed to cero their heads.

Ulquiorra blinked as he saw a reflection of sunlight from something on the grass. He widened his eyes ever so slightly to the sight of the little needle.

"Hey, I found your needle." he called Nnoitra but the other man seemed too caught up in his 'conversation' with Szayel.

He sighed slightly before picking the needle. His eyes widened as he felt his skin was penetrated by the needle.

"What is it, Ulquiorra?" Szayel asked as he found the usual stoic man was having his eyes widened.

"My finger..." he trailed.

"What happen with your finger?" Nnoitra asked as he and Szayel approached him.

"The needle..." he trailed at the last before falling to the ground.

Nnoitra and Szayel blinked comically. They stared to each other before gasping as they understood what was actually had happened to Ulquiorra. The curse needled of Nnoitra, was sticking in Ulquiorra's fore finger.

"This is not the way he falls." Szayel frowned.

Nnoitra smirked. "HA! I knew I could kick his ass!! That little bitchy Cuatro!"

"Actually, you do nothing about this." Szayel smirked, knowing how the other would react.

Nnoitra snapped. "But still, I have him fallen!!"

Szayel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, just wait till Aizen-sama know what you have done to his beloved princess."

"Wha-what?" cold sweat rolled down from his temple. "Oh, I don't give that man any fuckin' shit."

"But your face tell me the otherwise." Szayel said with risen eyebrows.

Nnoitra nervously looked around. "Well, since I kind enough, I'll help you to wake him up." he said.

"Help me? I don't do anything about this!" Szayel barked.

Nnoitra narrowed his eyes. "You were the one who made me slipping the needle, and you were the one who asked him for help. So, basically, you have big roles here."

Szayel glared to Nnoitra but agreed with him nonetheless. He sighed heavily. "So, what we have to do?"

"Hello, you are the genius one here." Nnoitra said mockingly.

They glared to each other again. The heated moment last for some minutes before they sighing simultaneously.

"Maybe that fairy will help us?" Nnoitra asked more to himself.

"What fairy?" Szayel asked with complete dread over his face.

"You know, that blonde fairy."

"Oh my, no! I still love my head." he said.

"I know she is a whore-ish fairy but wha-"

".?"

The red hood and the wizard were instantly petrified on their spots by the voice of none other than the blonde fairy they had been talking about. Her name was...

Tia Hallibel.

Szayel was the firstly brave one turned around to face the pissed fairy. She looked like the way she should, a bit revealing at some inappropriate places. The wings of her weren't like the usual wings that fairy had. Instead of fluffy and beautiful wings, she had a pair of shark fin like wings. The fairy, despite her small size which was like any other fairies, was very strong!

"Umh, good afternoon, Hallibel." Szayel greeted.

The fairy just sat on a little twig. She eyed the two males who were fidgeting silently under her intense gaze.

"What do you want?"

Nnoitra and Szayel blinked at the sudden question. Nnoitra narrowed his eyes to make braver image of himself. "Help us waking him up." He said as he pointed to the lying Ulquiorra. He was sleeping peacefully.

Hallibel narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"Please?" Nnoitra immediately added.

Hallibel's eyes back to normal. He eyed them before taking out her notes. She checked and wrote something on her note before nodding once.

"I can help you." she stated. "Since I have nothing to do."

Szayel smiled. "Thank you so much, Hallibel-san." He bowed, before pulling hard at Nnoitra hair and making him bowed as well.

After that, the blonde fairy flew away. The woman set a thoughtful face. She opened her notebook again. "He must be the Snow White." she said as he remembered the pale skin of Ulquiorra's. "So, for him is, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." she said before checking 'Grimmy-kitty' name of her list.

* * *

Yup, I think for now it is enough. Heehee.. Hope you like it.

…MintCa…


End file.
